Become an Illegal Aliens

Becoming Illegal (Actual letter from an Iowa resident and
sent to his senator)

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224- 3254
Washington DC , 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,
As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal
Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I
have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an
effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal
alien, and they referred me to you.
My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S.
Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was
recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If
my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate,
as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for
five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay
a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five
years. I know a good deal when I see one, and I am anxious
to get the process started before everyone figures it out.
Simpl y put, those of us who have been here legally have
had to pay taxes every year, so I'm excited about the
prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for
paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to
be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent
result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in
2004 and 2005.
Additionally, as an illegal alien, I could begin using the
local emergency room as my primary health care provider.
Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance,
my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.
Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my
daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to
her law school applications, as well as 'in-state'
tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United State
s for my son.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me
of the burden of renewing my driver's license and
making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is
very important to me given that I still have college age
children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to
become illegal (retroactively, if possible) and copies of
the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.
Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent,

Donald Ruppert
Burlington, IA
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